So mom refused to come over and talk about her drinking-said if i’m going to give her the 5th degree she’s not even going to listen to it-something to that effect. Oh well, I have my family to take care of and our future to worry about. not babying her and putting her feelings over everything else. I hate when she’s mad at me-just bothers me, but it’s time I got over it and worry about taking care of my little family here. I put a copy of the email I sent her since she refused to come talk to us about it-no reply not really expecting on just sent it to put it out there what she does w/ it is up to her. she’s a big girl and should be more mature and responsible than i am. I have officially gotten bank of america up and running. we have a checking acct there-no checks cause i can pay everything online, woo me. prolly should order some just in case but i do still have the old bank checking acct open and many checks from that. nah i’ll just hold off on checks till we move that way i can spend more and get the cute froggy ones i (we) like, and even blow $20 on the matching frog checkbook cover cause frankly a box of checks is going to last us YEARS. i’ve had the same box of checks for i think 3 years haha, and still have 2 booklets in there unused! our finances are going ok, still saving lots and jeff is working hard. his job has him working atleast 60hrs this week including sunday but it’s mandatory that they take monday off-due to the holiday. hes on his 3rd shipment of school packages-it’s going quick! i’m very proud of the effort he’s putting forth and the general enthusiasm he has towards learning. his parents are coming back for a visit in about 5 wks so we’re all looking forward to that, atleast we’ll get to see them since we couldn’t make it out that way. had the car in the shop monday, got it back yesterday after $432 and what a surprise-it’s back in there today still cutting off. i told the lady just do the fuel injector blow out. 4th shop each telling us different things are causing it nobody is able to fix it and we keep telling them to do the F.I. and it’s always a ‘no that wouldnt do it’ so it’s had over 2k put into repairs and it’s not even worth that but we dont have the credit to get a new car. absolutely nuts. maybe they’ll actually get it right today. i stripped some scrap wire while lily and squeaker watched ice age today. that’ll bring in some extra $$ too. its not like we’re struggling quite the opposite i’d say being able to put $100 a week into a money market acct is doing good wouldn’t you? but every little bit i can get extra is just one more step to getting out of this area, away from the drama, and into our own home. i’m completely focused on that, it’s my only goal lately-money-moving-money-saving-moving. my hands hurt-blisters from the wire stripping, eh well i’ll end up doing more later. i think it’s over $1/lb for that stuff lately so yea it’ll be worth a few blisters to get it done. guess thats all for now, i’m sure i could post more i just dont feel like it.
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Below is a copy of the email I sent mom-
Mom, you seem to believe we’re spoiled, selfish, ungrateful, etc people who only call you when we want something. Of course this is your opinion which everyone is entitled too-I guess my efforts to call and see how you’re doing randomly went without any consideration or merit. Along with that went the times we’ve tried to invite you to dinner-which 9 times out of 10 was turned down for whatever reason. The thought to have lily paint that birdhouse, the painting I had started for you of the angel, the variety of food I send over since your too busy to come have dinner with us, picking up things for you at the store (the same as you do for me). Apparently they meant nothing. You have done a lot for us, we’ve always appreciated it but what we don’t appreciate is when you throw it all back at us or hold it over our heads as a ‘you owe me, I do so much’ attitude. You shouldn’t do things for someone only so you can have them owe you something in return. If it was such a burden to help us or pick up something while you were out there is a simple way to fix it, say no-or don’t call and OFFER to pick up anything. We wanted you to come to our home and discus the problem from this past saturday, in a civil manner. That invitation seems to have been refused on your misguided belief you’ve done nothing wrong. Hate to have to inform you, as it should really be obvious, you have done something wrong. After your decision to get hammered and take lily to visit your friend brian in front royal when you hit that other car (and then argued that you DIDN’T hit the car-argued with the person you hit) you promised you would not drink around my children. The is/was not an unreasonable request. In my opinion and quite a few other people this was far to lenient. You both could be dead right now because of that choice-and I don’t think you recognize the gravity of that. You seem to have the attitude of ‘nothing happened so it’s no big deal’. Should I wait till it’s to late so I don’t hurt your feelings and one of them ends up hurt or worse. When we left her there you look me in the eye and said you werent going to drive, you lied to my face and I decided that being my mom I could trust you. Then again this time. I thought you were doing good, from what you said you’d almost completely stopped drinking anything. Then when you started spending so much time with carol everything went down hill. I told you at the beginning I didn’t feel comfortable w/ lily around her and still I let her come around to spare your feelings and so you could spend time with her. I’m not saying carol is at fault for your drinking, you’re a big girl and you make your own decisions but I do see a connection to her behavior and her I’m going to do what I want when I want fuck everyone else attitude. She isn’t welcome around lily, or me again-I haven’t liked her since she babysat me as a kid. I cant help but wonder have you told her about the car accident? I wonder if she would be asking why it’s ok for me to drink around the girls but not you if she knew about it? Quite frankly even without that situation it’s because I said so, these are my children and what I say goes-there is no exception. You as a mother should understand I will do what I have to do for the sake and safety of my children. Would you have let Andrea watch me again if these events had happened when I was little-I hope you wouldn’t, actually I hope you would’ve called the cops and turned her in for child endangerment. I am not just your daughter anymore, I’m a mother and that role outweighs the previous. My girls come first before your feelings and if you cant accept that then sorry but it will not change. I love you, I always will but I will not accept you lying to me and putting their safety at risk. You have a problem and you need to do something about it-besides make excuses. You drink cause your miserable with Roy-divorce him, your in pain-find a different doctor. It is that simple, you just have to make the effort. You have to want to, and if you don’t care enough then it’s your loss. I thought you were mature enough to limit yourself to drinking when they’re not around but you proved me wrong. If drinking was that important you could’ve avoided this problem by simply bringing lily home Saturday morning and saying you wanted to drink. That would’ve showed you understand the rules (the rules we’ve said since the accident-remember “same rules apply.-me” “I know, no drinking-you”), and you respected my wishes. I’ve giving to much acceptance on this alcohol issue and I’m done. You’ve lied to me and disrespected me as a mother. Please go to counseling, AA, anything but get help. When you you’ve shown me that your done drinking, and for you it’s going to have to be completely because you obviously cant handle the original only when the kids aren’t around, then we’ll welcome you back gladly. I don’t want this, really I don’t and it’s not to punish you-it’s to protect my kids. Your punishing yourself enough and your slowly killing yourself with it. You were saying how good you felt after you quit drinking.
I love you mom I really do and this does hurt me-whether you believe it or not, please get help somewhere and understand I’m trying to be a good mother and do what is best for my kids. I hope somewhere deep down your atleast proud of that, even if your mad and hate me right now.
Alecia
p.s. cell $ will continue to be deposited into your account and as soon as the contract is up we’ll get our own contract so you don’t have to worry about it. I’m not answering your calls because I don’t feel like being screamed at and I will not discuss this over the phone. I’ve said all I have to say (what I wanted to say had you came over to discuss it) now, it’s up to you to help yourself. Also we will not ask for anything else from you and sorry we’ve been such a burden to you.
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